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Message    1 · 2


The Drama of St. Paul and his experience when on the earth

December 5, 1915


I am here, St. Paul of the New Testament.

I was with you my brother at the discourse on the Drama of St. Paul, and I was much interested in the subject matter and in the manner in which the speaker delivered his discourse. He himself was somewhat dramatic, and his elocution and intonation of the dialogues between several of the prominent personages in the drama and me were very effective. Really, however, they, the intonations, did not sound very familiar because, to me, they possessed too much artificiality to represent correctly the real tones of voice and the feelings that possessed these persons and me on those occasions. Nevertheless, they were very effective, and I have no doubt produced on the hearers the effect intended.

Some of the scenes depicted were very real, and some of them were not and never occurred. I remember well my experience on the way to Damascus and the great change that it caused to my whole existence on earth. The brightness and the voice of Jesus were actualities, although the statement that I went blind (Acts 9:9) is not true. I was not blind but only affected for the time by the unusual light and also the shock that the voice of Jesus caused.

As Jesus said, “My only blindness was what covered my spiritual eyes at the time.” When I went into the town, the only blindness that I recovered from, in a way, was what had kept my soul in darkness and caused me to persecute the followers of Jesus. I was under the belief that I was doing the work that God had called me to do. So you see that while the description as a whole of my life after my call was very interesting, yet it was not altogether correct.

My condition of soul development was that I lacked the divine love that I possessed to some degree afterward. I was more of an intellectual Christian in my early ministry than a Christian possessing the great love of God; yet, I continued to preach and believed as best I could until finally I became a redeemed child of God, filled with his love. I knew many things connected with and taught in the theology of the Jews and especially of the Pharisees. I now see that in my writings my conceptions of the truths of God were flavored, to a considerable extent, by this knowledge of the Jewish theology. While many things that I taught are true as I now see them, many things that the Bible says I wrote are not true, and I am not surprised that men accept them at this time. How I wish that I could review and rewrite the epistles ascribed to me, and how many seeming contradictions and unreasonable things would be made plain. But I cannot, except as I may declare through you the truth as I now see it. I hope that the opportunity may come to do so.

I will not write more tonight as you have written considerable, and others wish to write.

I will say goodnight.

Your brother in Christ,

Message    1 · 2


St. Paul says that his thorn in the flesh was his doubt that at times that he was called to preach the truth of man’s salvation as taught by Jesus

June 28, 1915


Saul of Tarsus, now Paul of near Damascus.

As you are longing tonight for love and fellowship with the disciples of the Master, I thought that I would write you just a little to show that all of the Master’s disciples are in their living spiritual bodies, and I am alive and will never again die.

I have written many epistles that are contained in the Bible, and some are nearly correct. In them you will find my idea of God and of the Master. However, I never taught that he was God and neither did I teach the doctrine of the vicarious atonement or the sufficiency of Jesus’s blood to save a sinner from the sins of his earthly deeds. I never taught that any man’s sins would be borne and the penalty for the same be paid for by another, and wherever these doctrines are set forth in my epistles, they were not written by me.

The thorn in the flesh (2 Corinthians 12:7) was my doubt at times that I was called to preach the truth of man’s salvation as taught by Jesus. I say I doubted at times that I was called to do such work because, notwithstanding the Bible narrative of my conversion (Acts 9:20), I was not altogether convinced by the vision that I saw. I know now that it was a true vision, and that I was called, but when on earth I had my doubts at times, and this was my besetting sin.

Of course, from my epistles you would never think that I had any doubts, and I purposely abstained from making known my doubts and so-called it my besetting sin. I thank God that I never let that doubt influence me to prevent me from giving the work my call, for if I had I would have undoubtedly relapsed into the persecuting Jew. As I continued to preach, my faith grew stronger, and after a while my doubt had left me, and in my latter years I had no doubt.

As to being afraid I will have to disillusion you, for I was never stricken blind or taken to the house of the prophet of God as the Bible says (Acts 9:17). My vision, though, was plain enough, and I heard the voice upbraiding me, and I believed, but at times there would come this doubt that I speak of.

I am not in as high a sphere as is St. John, for I have not the divine love that he has. But I am in a very high sphere and am the governor of the city in which I live. I am probably as much filled with this love as any of the inhabitants of my city. Consequently, having been a disciple of the Master, they selected me for their Governor. Peter is not in the same sphere; he is in a higher one. Some disciples are higher and some are lower. Andrew is in my sphere, but he does not live in my city.

I am glad that you called me tonight, or rather that the influence of your love called me, as I am much interested in the work that you have to do for the Master. You will be able to do this work, and it will be a great revolutionizing one when it is published.

I will be glad to write you at times and give you my present opinion on some of the things I discussed in my epistles. So, as I have written considerable, I will say goodnight and stop.

Your friend and brother,
St. Paul, of the Bible