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Message
1
A great queen in her day confesses freely to the violations that
she has committed and reveals her soul is full of remorse
May 12, 1915
I am here, Elizabeth I of England.
I have been here several
times before, but never have I been able to get the chance to write to
you. Now that I have, do not disappoint me in my hope that you may help
me.
I was a very bad woman
on earth, as I now see the true relation of things and deeds and am
suffering from the memory of those things. I was looked upon as a
creature of divine favor and could, therefore, do no wrong. Whatever I
said or did must be obeyed and followed by my subjects and others who
lived within my dominions. I lived a life that was not in accordance
with the laws of morality or of God as they now appear to me. When I
tell you that I was a single woman who had my lovers to gratify my
passions and to please my caprices, you will understand that those are
the things that now cause my darkness and suffering.
I am not a spirit who
thinks that, because I was a ruler, I could do no wrong. I knew at the
time that many things I did were wrong, and consequently my suffering
has become so much the greater. Many a poor soul has been sent to
damnation by my commands, on earth as well as here. Even murder I was
guilty of, although it may have had a legalized form. It was murder
nevertheless, and I am suffering the penalties. Some of my truest and
best friends in moments of jealousy and envy I sent to the block to
afterwards bitterly regret my deed. Oh, I tell you that a queenly crown
makes no difference in the penalty that must be paid for evil deeds.
Many a humble subject of mine is now where I cannot go and where they
find happiness and love, as I am told.
I loved once truly and
deeply, but I sacrificed the object of my love through pique. What I
wanted in my blind rage to have him do, and he would not; how bitterly I
regretted the deed and suffered even while on earth, though to all
outward appearances I was callous and without feeling. God knows how my
heart bled and how my very soul was wracked with remorse and torture,
but I was a queen and had no right to have the feelings of a human
being.
I will not relate the
vast number of evil deeds that I had done, but will only say that, as my
opportunity for committing evil without fear of punishment was great, so
the number of my deeds was great. I have suffered in darkness and
torment, and love has been absent from me all these years of the travail
of my soul. I have lived alone, as I saw no pleasures in what other
spirits who lived near me were engaged in.
When I first entered the
spirit world I was still a queen, as I believed, and many of my subjects
who had become spirits and knew me still believed I was their queen and
worshipped me as such. But as time passed they saw that, while on earth,
I may have been of divine creation, yet as a spirit I was without any
evidence of divine right and was no better than themselves. They soon
ceased to look upon me as superior to themselves and, as is usual, as
you on earth say, they went to the other extreme and treated me with
neglect and even taunted me for having been on earth a fraud and
deception. I soon hated them all, and so sought my consolation in
silence and isolation.
What a mockery is
nobility on earth, and what a leveler is the spirit world! Many times I
have wished that they had let me remain the simple country girl and not
made me the queen of a great nation. I can now see that if my life had
been that of a subject living in God’s pure and uncontaminated country
air, I would now be a much happier spirit. But it is now too late. As I
have made my bed I must lie in it, and there is no remedy.
Yet, when despair and
darkness come to overwhelm us, there seems some good providence that
gives us a little ray of hope, and even though it comes to us as a glint
of sunlight, yet it comes, and we sometimes think that in the future, we
know not when there may be some relief for us. So that glint of hope
comes to me sometimes, and I feel that God has not forsaken me
altogether.
I have seen spirits made
happier by coming to you (Padgett), and so I come with just that little spark of
hope telling me that you might help me, and if you can, please do so.
Yes, I will do as you say. Yes, I see the beautiful spirits. I see your
mother, and she says that she will take me with her and show me the way
to light and happiness and will love me as God loves me.
So I am going with her,
and now I want to say that as you are my true friend and well-wisher, I
believe what you told me and want you to think kindly of me, as not many
do.
With my thanks, I will say goodnight,
Elizabeth I
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